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twitterpunch

Ever wondered why you tweet pictures of your cat, tweet about the cost of organic food, or tweet about your social incompetence? Help is at hand, this app will punch you every time you twitter; not just when you do lame, naval gazing tweets.

boat

Useful if you are stuck on an island based reality tv show with 12 muppets and a conflict-baiting camera crew.

ipillow

Really fricking handy when you are on long flights, or pesky train-replacement buses.

vegitracker

Grr! Rip off farmers markets. Simply take a photo of the offending £7 organic vegetable, and this app simultaneously gives you its real supermarket price and tells you what it is; ‘purple sprouting broccoli’ ah!

shawifezam

Make ill communication between you and your partner an historical footnote, by holding your iphone up to your wife/girlfriend mid rant, even 2 seconds is enough, and it will translate to what they really mean. “babble babble babble babble”, ah shawifezam says: ‘Pay me more attention rather than wanking over that fucking iphone’.

catnav

Ever wondered where Flossy goes in the day? Does she really shit in your neighbours garden, as per their allegations? This app tracks your cat’s position on Google maps and publishes it to other catnav users, so you can see your kitty neighbourhood and perhaps impose a curfew if she is fraternizing with that unsavoury tom from number 57.

iphone pro app

This app increases battery life, gives you a 5mp xenon flash camera, enables MMS messages and gives you the connectivity of Bluetooth all for $4.59.

bushcutter

Ditch dragging that epilator on holiday, this app makes light work of even the most forest-like unsightly bikini line.

twat tagger

Take a photo of any twat, any where in the world, and this app will automatically geotag the photo and adds the person to an online facial recognition database so other app users can be alerted when they’ve enter a neighbourhood with a high propensity of twats.

owl unlimited

Having a problem keep track of all your owl’s? This app brings owl management to a whole new level. With geo-owling, feather tracking, and falconry glove care tips all in one place. Solving life’s little problems one app at a time.

Feel free to add your suggestions for iphone apps that money can’t buy in the comments…  Until next time.

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Apart from meeting some really hot (technically) consultants, some clued-up (and friendly) WAG staff, and having a few beers (at our expense, rather than the tax payer), I’m stoked and ready to move from my role as a consultant and delivering agency, to an objective E-business consultant.

My first impressions are that the E-business WAG team headed by Michael Groves, have really got their onions together. It’s out with all the multiple confusing funding brands inside the Welsh Assembly and they’ve bought in 3 shapes of ICT product that will help business in Wales, in a Flexible Support for Business (FS4B) package:

1) A resource website, which will be going live soon on http://www.business-support-wales.gov.uk/, it will have all kinds of IT and business communication guides. This is designed as an entry level “what is a CRM?”, “how can a network help my business?” or  “what is pay per click marketing?”  This is great for all businesses wanting some knowledge, perhaps before they engage technology companies in helping their business or undertaking an IT change themselves.

3) E-business support. This is where a consultant will be able to help a company research, plan, choose a supplier, hand hold through integration, and guide through company wide roll-out. In reality this could be something small like guiding a small company through installing a network/VPN/email system or something larger and more specialised like installing a new multi-site contact centre or custom built intranet solution. Either way, with support from WAG businesses will have the benefit of having an on-side consultant to ease the pain in any new system integration/

Back to recession proofing your business, it is essential for all companies to examine their underlying ICT if they want to weather the storm of this financial downturn. Having an impartial external consultant come in and help you assess your ICT can only help, and if you need more support having some one on-side, impartial and co-paid for by the WAG, is a step in the right direction for ensuring your business comes out the other side of this gloomy downturn, stronger and happier.

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He touched on the recession, which is why I’m mentioning him here, and he said a few interesting things:

The first thing he said was about the virtual quality of money – the fact that it’s not real. It’s been said before but is always worth repeating. If you think about that for a while your mind takes you to some interesting places and provide some interesting thoughts about your work and how you do it.

The third thing was that he gets very annoyed with pundits on the news comparing it with recessions of the past (‘82, 70’s, 30’s) as globalisation has made this recession completely unique and therefore incomparable He was frustrated that nobody on the political stage had picked this point up. This is a really good point, and if like me you listen to the news too much it might be worth keeping in mind; there are no historical precedents for this and although we know what caused it, we don’t know how it will pan out. This time there are millions and millions more people in the world who a) have more and b) want more than any other time in the past.

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